Takeaway from my vendor event

It took me a few days to recuperate from the insanity that was this past weekend but now that I've fully regained my energy (and took a quick trip to the dispensary) I think I'm mentally capable of processing it better.

In the last few days leading up to the weekend, I was already failing in my head. The ass hat that was going to help me with the set up and manning my stand for the event flaked at the last possible second and I had no one to help me load and unload all the heavy crap nor did I have help to set up my 70 lb 10x20 tent (which felt like it was 100 lbs but ok.)

So I'm freaking out to one of my associates about the situation asking for help and he told me he sadly was unavailable to help so I was just done at that point. I decided not to go and I beat myself up for all the time and money I sunk into this and ultimately I said screw it if I'm already failing in my head what's the harm in trying?

I'm an idiot sometimes I just really like to let my anxiety sabotage me and I'm so glad this was not one of those times, though it came close. It was a really interesting and soul nourishing weekend filled with adverse weather and challenges but still something I felt like I needed to be there for. I'll be following up with a video once I have it edited.

Also if you made it this far, you deserve to know I'm considering bringing back my little true crime bit on YouTube and in text form on here. Thoughts?